The sound of the drums started up at the same time that the lights dimmed. The curtains swished open as the bass added its deep rolling tones to the tune. The guitar line started and the orange and white coloured bunny playing the instrument bounced toward the front of the stage, his deep rich voice rolling over the club as he launched into song.
Cal leapt to his feet on the table and cheered, it was Sher! He was actually here, less than a metre away playing a song live. Most of the Ambassadors and dignitaries were eating and talking but they looked around as Cri joined Cal in dancing on the table. The avali were cheering too and the big green alien Darneti threw his short arms in the air and let out an excited whoop as Sher belted out the lines to MMF's traditional opening song Anagram!
“Hello everybody!
We are a band!
We're Moumantai
Motherfuckers
And we're here to rock
We're visiting Iko
Eating Krad as we walk
We visited Kyranskab
And now we're happy to be here with you
For a Night on the Fuseli!
The people around the Earthian ambassadors table cheered at that last line and jumped up to their feet, except for the ambassador, he was a boring type. But the song hammered through a chorus line and Cal danced on the table, cheering as Sher’s voice rang out with the second verse.
Hello everybody!
We are a band!
We're Moumantai
Motherfuckers
And we're here to rock
My friend here is an Avali
Who hails from Avalon
My bassist friend is a deer
That comes from Germany
And I'm a vampire bunny
From Babupekkakerok
Hello everybody!
We are a band!
We're Moumantai
Motherfuckers
And we're here to rock
The song ploughed through a serious guitar riff, Sher and D seeming to strum in harmony with one another as Rowi bounced his sticks across the drumkit until with a resounding crash of the cymbals the song came to a halt. Sher bounced to the front of the stage, he was wearing a white and orange bobble hat and a flowing avali robe. That song, from what Cri had studied, was their usual opening song and the band always changed the lyrics to match the place they were performing into.
“Hello and good evening,” Sher called out, “It's a delight to be here to play you some Earth music! I can see we have quite a diverse crowd tonight but Mr Sleriki in the front row you're blocking my view, do you mind lying down?”
“Only if I can lie in front of one of the speakers,” Darneti shouted back with good cheer as the big slime got up and waddled forward.
“Be our guest, D give him a deep bass tune, jiggle him good.”
As the Sleriki lay down on his side at the front of the stage the speakers hummed with a deep, funky slap bass line as D moved his fingers over his guitar, bobbing up down, bending his knees and smiling as his fingers coaxed a deep, rumbling chord from his bass. The deer was dressed in heavy boots, black jeans and a long T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of a blue planet. Cri's new visor had translated it and it said: “Humans are Greedy, thankfully I am a Deer”
“How’s that Mr sleriki?” Sher shouted into his mic.
“Really goooooood,” Darneti called back, “Love your sound!”
“Glad to hear and look at this! Front and centre the Trail pack,” Sher waved a paw, “Hello Seinu and family how are you? Causing trouble as usual I hope?”
“You bet,” Firi shouted and Seinu raised his glass in salute and the bunny waved and then his bright orange eyes fell on Cri and Cal. Cal was trembling with excitement and pulled off his hat so he had something to do with his paws.
Sher then sang to them in the Bunny Song, his voice strong and clear, “Hello Cri, Cal, hope you are both looking after Seinu?”. Several people enjoyed it; for many it was the first time listening to the bunnies’ native language.
“Yes!” Cri shouted, grabbing Cal’s arm and bouncing up and down excitedly, “Yeah we are.”
“Ye… yes!” Cal shouted back in their native tongue, “We’re keeping him out of trouble we promise.”
“Good on you,” Sher strummed his guitar and turned his attention back to the crowd, calling out a few other tables before finishing with thanks to the human Ambassador for inviting them to put on a show. The stuffy human nodded, though he was watching the band with clear distaste on his face.
“Now his Excellency didn’t pick any songs from our set-list so we’ve put together a little something from across our whole range!”
Sher launched into their next song, Zero Remorse a Song about how some people abuse people working retail jobs:
“At the store you mistreat that poor fucker trying just to survive”.
It was a well planned pick, especially since half the people in the room were the sort to take their status as Ambassador’s so seriously and be the sort to shout abuse at poor minimum wage workers. Sher spent a bit of time after the song talking to the crowd then launched into the next three songs that were played in succession without a pause before speaking to the audience again.
“I hope you are all enjoying the show,” Sher called out, “I want to ask my boyfriend Rowi to say a few words!”
“When you feel you’re alone, cut off from this cruel world, your instincts telling you to run. Listen to your heart! Those angel voices, they’ll sing to you, they’ll be your guide back home. When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind! It keeps us kind”, Rowi sang with a very decent voice. While some knew that was the first verse of a Linkin Park song, most of the dignitaries had no idea. ”
However, the crowd whooped, with the loudest noise coming from the Avali table and suddenly a rhythmical but strong drum loop started. The cheering died down and Sher launched into their next song Intricacies. It was a song about how life is much more complex than it looks at first sight.
“Tell me what’s right
I want to know that I am being a big
Force for good.
You say that every story has 3 versions,
What is nuance?
What I think is correct for someone else is very wrong shit,
And I will have to learn to live with all this”
The coldest winter was a song about finding solace and comfort in the cold and the blizzards, and how a blizzard basically swept away enemies leaving you in peace with the hope that maybe you’ll be able to see the Northern Lights as a consolation for being lost in the cold. It was also one of the songs most people knew, as that song had been the lead single from their “Coordinates” album a few years back.
Will you still love me tomorrow was a cover from an old Earth song, Seinu watched as Mrs Vanderhoff, the ambassador’s wife dragged him to his feet and pulled him off to one side to dance, something strange given how fast this version of the song was. He looked surprised but soon fell into a mechanical rhythm with her fluid, enthusiastic motions. She was clearly enjoying the song, it had to be one she recognized as she seemed to be dancing in a very specific way as if they were old dance moves, even though the dance seemed not to fit the aggressive fast style of the song.
Sher silenced his guitar and took a long swing of water before moving along the stage, “Hope you are all enjoying the show Fuseli!”
“We are,” Mrs Vanderhoff shouted, “More like that though would be good!”
Sher laughed, “What do you think guys, shall we do another cover?”
“Sure thing!” D shouted and started to strum his bass, a deep rumbling chord, “What about this?”
“Oh yeah,” Rowi brought his sticks together and then crashed into the intro of a cover of "I only wanna be with you” from Dusty Springfield, with MMF’s usual rock twist to it.
The crowd danced, the humans especially seemed to appreciate that one as they danced and grooved together. As the song rolled to an end D smiled and grinned. “Hope you liked that lady!”
The Ambassador’s wife cheered back an affirmative and the crowd joined her in letting out a whoop before Sher seized control once again, “Next up is Come with us”
Sher launched into a very slow and scary song, it was just him strumming on the guitar at the same speed, except for a very fast couple “verses”. However, the only spoken words were delivered by D in a very low voice, the creepy lines “come with me, my dear”, “it’s destiny” and “if you don’t, you’ll die”.
I just want peace started immediately after was a song about how humans love to hate so much. “My shock on Earth was to see everyone hating. Such a beautiful land and you waste your life with hate”. And the last verse of this song referred to Sher’s days at home. “Look up, get some friends, go out and get some fruit. Your world is precious, why are you wasting your life hating it?”
After Sher sang the last words, he kept repeating the same rhythmic pattern for a minute before ending it suddenly. Then the vampire bunny paused for a long swig of water and moved back toward the front of the stage with a smile.
“Being here is quite entertaining,” Sher called out to the boisterous room, the music was much too loud and banging for political manoeuvring and talk. And most of the aliens seemed to be enjoying the show, the Avali tables' boisterous lack of decorum had been infectious and spread. Any semblance of this being a political meeting for back door dealing had gone right out the window.
“It is such a fun night for us to see so many different species getting along together,” Sher called out with a smile, “And I’m telling you, I often get asked about my relationship with Rowi, whether we encounter any issues being from different species.”
He walked over to the drums and smiled up at the Avali who was wearing a traditional Avali shoulder mantle and kilt, “But nope. At home I never had any plans to make eggs and Rowi has made plenty, he’s an Avali and we all know what they say about nights out between different Avali packs.”
There was some laughter from the crowd and Taran called out, “No, tell us what do they say about Avali!” which resulted in even more laughter from the crowd.
Sher grinned at the Avali table and waggled a paw in mock admonishment, “I can’t say it in this story, but it’s exactly what they say about Ikorian coming of age ceremonies or Barvantan Spring dances, you can’t trust everything you hear about aliens races and their traditions.”
“Except for all those stories you hear about Avali,” D called out in a calm, deadpan voice. “After living with one for ten years you learn all sorts of things about them.”
“Like what!” someone shouted from the crowd and the deer grinned.
“They make really good sandwiches!”
The audience laughed. Sher kept his smile and after the giggles stopped, he continued. “Speaking of Avali, this next song is a declaration of my love for my space bird ladies and gentleman and especially my good friend Ambassador Seinu, I give you Enjoyment!”
Rowi clicked his drumsticks together, “Oh this one is fun, I can assure you I enjoy my bunny lots!” He then brought his sticks down and thumped into a fast paced intro.
Cal couldn’t help but giggle at the scandalous lyrics the band was pulling; the Earthian ambassador had turned a funny shade of purple, his eyes bulging in shock as Sher casually strutted back and forth on stage singing about how good it was to have sex with "My bird". D wasn’t helping, he was playing the bass line perfectly but was standing still, dark eyes fixed on the ambassador, staring at him for the entire song. Then at the end he winked and smiled before bringing his hands down and launching into the next song, a piece named Unwilling Host whose lyrics were all about the vast number of parasites, bacteria and other small animals that lived inside a sentient being. No person was a single organism on an island. Cal didn’t mind; he bounced, he jumped, he cheered, he danced with Cri and generally just moved to the amazing sounds booming out of the speakers.
“This has been a great night,” D shouted, “Thanks everyone for letting us play and thank you Mr and Mrs Ambassador for inviting us to play and show off our homeworlds music!”
I need help was a song about a kid who desperately wanted to move out of their parents home but he couldn’t. After that was Volition, a song about mental health. “It’s not your fault if you’re damaged, it’s not your fault if you’re broken”. And the verses, “Your mind, your enemy, defence little friend, don’t let it be, it’s not your fault”.
And finally, Let the Dragons Fly was just an instrumental that brought the show to a close. As the final notes fell silent and the crowd cheered Sher, Rowi and D raised their hands, “You’ve been a fantastic audience! Thanks for having us!”
D and Rowi both bowed and Rowi chirped in Avali core, “Thank you all and if I may there is an old saying on Earth, God Raises them and the devil gets them together… and that’s exactly what happened with us. Stay safe, take care, stay hydrated and don’t forget to look at both sides before crossing the street. Thank you very much!” With that the curtains closed and MMF was gone. Sitting down next to his brother Cal hugged his identical bunny family member and chirped in their native tongue.
“That… that was amazing, I… we… we got to see Sher perform!”
“I know,” Cri pulled off his tech-glasses and nuzzled Cal, “He… he was so much better in person!”
“He was so confident! Like he was the owner of the place!”. Looking around, Cal giggled and added, “I think the Earthian ambassador man is about to faint, everyone loved it but he still looks offended.”
“He’s what I think they call a prig,” Cri said, standing up, he cupped his paws around his muzzle and shouted, “Hey Ki is that thing Sher was singing about Avali true!”
Ki glanced around from where he was talking to the crew of the ostrich and grinned, “I can’t show you in public, ask me later,” the crowd laughed and the human ambassador turned the funny shade of purple again. All decorum had fled and as the main course was brought in the atmosphere slowly started to calm down there was no sign of it returning to the usual sort of severe attitude they had seen at other parties. Even diplomats and ambassadors needed to let off steam and as the Earth Ambassador had decided to throw the stuffy rulebook out of the window (albeit not intentionally) the party had no intention of letting themselves be stuffed back in the box.
A new scent caught Cal’s attention, it was a female bunny, he turned and sniffed the air, Cri was right beside him, his nose tasting her scent as the bunny in a green hat and cloak stopped by their table and sniffed them. For a moment training kicked in, letting her scent percolate up through their noses to ascertain her intent from scent alone. She was clearly doing the same and paused when she realised it and laughed and said.
“Hello miss Roi,” Cri said with a smile, “I see Ty’kyr trained you the same way as us.”
“He certainly did,” Roi said with a smile, “Sher wanted to know if you’d like to come backstage and meet everyone?”
“Do we?” Cal chirped, “Yessssss, if.. If we won’t be a bother miss Roi.”
“It is no bother, bring Seinu with you and let's go.”
Cri jumped off the table, grabbed Seinu’s paw and dragged him away from the green slime man he was excitedly talking to. Cal grabbed his other hand and they didn’t give the Avali slime much choice, dragging him along after Roi as she led the way backstage; this was turning into an amazing day! Not only had they got to see Sher perform NOW they were going to meet him in person!
Following Roi backstage was easy, around to the far side of the room, through a door and up a ramp. The glitzy, wood-panelled and velvet-covered luxury of the cabaret room was replaced by the severe, plain metal walls of a space-ship but it looked otherwise like the backstage space Cri had seen in many films and books since leaving home.
“I really can’t be away for long,” Seinu was saying, “I do have to mingle with the other ambassadors and…”
“Shhhhh,” Cal insisted, waving his free paw as he tugged the Avali along, “This is more important, it’s Sher! And his sister Roi!”
“I am really not that special,” Roi said, “But I hope you boys enjoyed the show, hey Meky,” she called out to the big purple slime who was carrying items of equipment off the stage, the entire drum kit tucked under one arm, “Are they still in the dressing room?”
“Sher is,” the Sleriki said, his clicking, hooting language being translated directly into text on their visors, “D has gone out front to mingle, or more likely to mess with that Earth ambassador more and Rowi has snuck off to go see the other Avali, I think he wanted to make use of the opportunity to be surrounded by other space birds for a bit.”
Roi pushed her paw against a touch-pad and a part of the door swished open. A new scent hit Cri’s nose and he took a deep breath, sniffing, analysing. He did it without thinking, Cal was doing the same and had put himself on the opposite side of Seinu, the pair of them boxing the avali in like they had been trained.
Roi was watching them with a rye smile and Cri blushed, he could smell one other bunny, a male, a really wet one who smelt of watermelon shampoo as if he’d just had a hot shower with a faint hint of Avali oil mixed into his fur.
“Sorry,” Cri said feeling a bit bashful, “I know it’s safe just…”
“Oh don’t apologise,” Roi said and placed a hand on his arm, “You are doing your job, as unlikely as it may seem there could have been a trap, or an intruder, or something weird I missed, never apologise for doing your job, now scoot, he is waiting for you.”
Cri nodded and led the way into the dressing room. It was a wide square room with plain chrome walls, a carpet, a big sofa and a few chairs. There was a small kitchen space and a door into a bathroom. Sher was sitting on the sofa wrapped up in a big towel, his fur still damp from his post-show shower.
“Hey!” he waved, “Seinu, nice to see you and yet… hmm I can’t decide if I prefer you as an Avali or a bunny, it looked cute on you.”
Seinu laughed and grasped Sher’s paw in both of his, “It’s nice to have feathers again but bunny is very much on my favourite list.”
Sher grinned showing off his fangs then turned to the twins, “Hi Cri, Hi Cal,” he held out a paw to each of them, jumping down off the sofa to pull them into a bunny hug, “So how are you two finding life in space?”
“Nothing is the right height,” Cal complained, “We need a step-ladder or stool to reach most of the surfaces on the Odyssey.”
Sher laughed and glanced at Seinu who shrugged, “Look we Avali are the correct height, it is the rest of the universe who are too short or too tall, we can’t help it you haven’t evolved perfection like us.”
Sher laughed, “You mean genetically engineered it,” he grinned at Cal, “But yeah, we are very on the shorter side but you get used to it, how are you finding the rest of space and living with the Avali?”
“It’s great,” Cri enthused, “They know so many things, I struggled at first to know what to read or learn, there is so much more than at home.”
“There is a lot to learn,” Sher smiled, “I am still learning things and I’ve been living out here in space for nearly fifteen years. I am glad to see you both thriving, though what was that business when Roi opened the door?”
“Oh,” Cal giggled, “We were doing our job! We’re in charge of keeping turkey boy here safe,” he patted Seinu’s arm, “Like he’s mostly blind and can’t smell anything right now so someone has to look out for him, Firi got us training with the same people who trained Roi, Ty’kr’s pack.”
“Oh nice,” Sher smiled, “They are really good, they must have loved having more bunnies to train, they said they had great fun honing Roi’s sense of smell.”
“It was,” Seinu started to speak then paused as text rolled across his visor, “Damn,” he leant down to hug Sher, “I need to go back, Selenu says people are noticing, we can catch up at the end of the evening,” he moved toward the doors then waved the twins back, “No, you two stay here and talk to Sher, Roi can escort me back to Firi and I am probably safe here.”
Cal seemed unsure but Cri handed Seinu over to Roi and shut the door, “He’ll be fine, Roi is probably better at this then we are, she has way more experience.”
“Yeah,” Cal rubbed his nose then glanced at Sher, “Do you ever get used to their smell? I think I preferred Seinu as a bunny, he and the others sure have a certain potent scent about them.”
Sher laughed, “You know I only really notice it these days if I stick my snout deep into Rowi’s feathers or for the first few hours when we arrive home on Protion. You get used to it, it’s not as pungent as you might think, just different,” Sher smiled and patted the sofa and waited for the bunny twins to sit down beside him, “So what do you think about our feathered friends?”
“They’re really nice,” Cal said with a smile, “They have been helping us adapt to living in space a lot, there is so much to learn.”
“Living in space is sure something,” Cri said with a smile, “I had no idea there was so much knowledge to be found either, I am never going to run out of books”
“Books are good,” Sher said with a smile, “I light reading myself but my interests are not as broad as yours Cri, But I do enjoy lounging about reading, have you encountered Japanese light novels yet?”
“No?” Cri sat up, eyes wide, “Are they books?”
“Yeah,” Sher smiled, “Lots of small volumes, so they are easy to read, I’ll get D to send you a few suggestions.”
“Oh dear,” Cal sighed, “More books, give me things that go fast any day!”
“If you don’t like lots of text have you tried comics?” Sher asked with a curious tilt of the head as he looked at Cal, “You might enjoy them.”
“Not sure I have heard of comics,” Cal replied, “I will look them up when we get back to the Odyssey. But yeah other than introducing Cri to books,” he gave his twin brother a nudge, “The Avali are good to us, they taught me how to fly and drive and use a spear. It has been great living with them.”
Sher smiled and hugged the twins bunny style before asking for copies of the photos, “It’s fucking cool though, to see more bunnies living in space, sounds like they are looking after you?”
“Oh yes,” Cri chirped, “They have welcomed us with open arms, though they are still a bit alien and getting used to the way they do everything together is a bit weird but we are getting the hang of their Avali ways.”
“Excellent,” Sher smiled, “Now what did you think about the show tonight?”
“It was amazing,” Cal burst out and bounced in his seat, “So much better in person, the way you had them all laughing! It was amazing, you had all those political big-wigs doing what you told them to!”
“I really loved the sound of it,” Cri said with a sigh and stroked his ears, “The thump Rowi’s drums was the best, the way it vibrates up through the floor, it feels so good, like predator senses but nice, it is amazing, I want everyone to experience that.”
“They will.” Sher smiled, “We are going to go home at some point and perform a proper concert for everyone.”
“Aw we will probably miss it,” Cal said glumly, “Seinu has this big diplomatic thing to go and do after we are done here, it’s on the other side of Avali space, a quadrillionty miles away.”
“I am sure we can send you a recording,” Sher said, “So how are you finding Avali society? Your Avali core sounds really good in video calls with Seinu.”
“Avali core is fun,” Cri said, “Learning scratch took some doing, but I am so confused by how their relationships work.” he rubbed a paw through his thick tail fur, “They don’t seem to mate for life like we do, or you and Rowi have, they do things as a pack like dating another pack entirely all of them acting as one happy relationship, it’s clearly more than just sex, but then when they are done hanging out they head off their separate ways.”
“Oh yeah,” Cal shook his head, “I struggle to follow that, like uhm… how do you ask an Avali out?”
Sher peered at the twins and laughed, “If you want to ask Seinu on a fucking date just do it boys!” he clapped his paws together, “Look up Polyarmorous relationships, Seinu won’t blink if you both ask him out for dinner or dancing or something it’s like you said the Avali way, what worked for me and Rowi is no good for you, every relationship has its own rhythm but don’t worry about it being weird or alien, he’ll be absolutely fine if you both ask him out.”
“Oh,” Cri lowered his head, smiling shyly, “We… really weren't sure if we could do that, like it really isn’t how we are taught to do it back home and so far everything we have seen seems to involve the whole pack.”
“Yeah that is common,” Sher said, “But not the rule, Avali do often hook up individually; separate from their pack doing something, so just go for it!”
“Ok,” Cal smiled, “But tell us about your music! Like what new songs are you planning and stuff, it was so much better to hear it live then recordings.”
Sher smiled and settled down to tell the twins about his music, he grabbed his guitar and gave them a quick demonstration of something new he had been working on. It was amazing to see how alive, animated and independent they had become since he had met them all those months ago on a video call whilst Seinu was in the infirmary.
Seinu was listening to the crowd, his four ears twitching occasionally as they absorbed about thirty different conversations. His visor was also capturing important notes on conversions that mentioned specific key-words it was over-hearing and recording them for later review. Now the general scrum and chaos that had followed the show had settled down, the crowd was reverting to form, the diplomacy and deal making had emerged from the cloud of hype.
Lifting his drink he took a long sip of slush and smiled at Mrs Vanderhof as she walked over, the tall, elegant human had blonde hair and was wearing a long lavender gown. She was as much a force for the humans as her husband, the pair of them had very differing attitudes and they complimented one another nicely.
“Mrs Vanderhof,” he smiled at her, his upper set of ears flicking toward her to capture her words, “Tonight has been a lovely event, thank you for the invitation.”
“It is always nice to have you aboard the Fuseli Ambassador Trail,” she smiled and plucked a glass from a passing waiter, “I noticed you are friends with our erstwhile music bands.”
“Yes,” Seinu smiled, “It was a nice surprise to find out they were performing, I am surprised you didn’t restrict their more… wild songs.”
She pulled a face then laughed, “I thought it was quite charming actually, and it’s my husbands fault, they had a section on their booking form asking if there were any songs we didn’t want them to sing, he filled it in with “Nah, anything is fine” he just booked them for clout and seems not to have checked their catalogue at all.”
Seinu laughs, “Oh dear, he’s lucky they only sang one song about sex.”
“Serves him right, I thought it was quite fun and everyone is talking about it, so it had the effect we wanted, people won’t be forgetting tonight.”
The silver avali let out an impish smile, “Oh no, I trust you and your husband will remember that I didn’t let the cat out of the bag as it were.”
She grimaced, “Oh dear, what else are you extracting from us Ambassador, didn’t we already help with those Tungsten price adjustments.”
Seinu laughed, “Nothing quite as onerous, I want you and your husband to join the economic projection panel I am putting together on behalf of the Illuminate Economic Forum.”
“Oh?” she stared at Seinu over her glass, intent and listening, she was all bubbles and friendly but she was smart too, especially when it came to manoeuvring humanity to ensure they snagged a slice of the trading pie.
“Its regarding Bluey dropping out of the Market,” Seinu explained, “They were a minor partner but their loss is having a knock on effect across the sector; they mostly imported high-tech items and sold surplus food there is a hole in the market for Human style agricultural products and I was quite sure your government would welcome an invite, what with your economy trying to pivot out of Covid quarantine.”
“I… yes,” She said, sounding surprised, “We would very much welcome the chance, it’s put an awful strain on the whole planet, the economy had to shut down and so many people died before we got it under control.”
“I’ll have my sister send you an invite then and see you there,” Seinu said with a smile.
“What’s the price?” Mrs Vanderhof asked with a frown, “This’ll be a big help if we can position our planet to fill the agricultural hole left by the loss of Bluey’s exports.”
“Consider it actual real thanks for supporting us in the Tungsten prices,” he nodded toward the stage, “Whilst me keeping secret about MMF was a nice favour, I owe you and there are certain interests in the Illuminate who’d like access to more corn, it is quite popular.”
“So you benefit if we expand our agricultural exports anyway?”
“Not me personally but it’d get you a larger slice of the Illuminate food market.”
“Thank you” Mrs Vanderhof nodded, “I’ll see you there and we can hash out the details, this could take some of the pressure off our economy.”
Seinu smiled and nodded then glanced beyond her, “And ah looks like we are preparing to leave, thank you for the fascinating evening.”
“See you soon Mrs Vanderhoff, and give my regards to your husband,” the avali inclined his head and headed off to join his family. It had been a fun evening but there had been time for business as well, there was always time for business.